Keeping up with the kalanchoes

Unlike some drama queens, this plant is the best! Rarely an issue to tell of. I keep propagating it and giving it away and growing more for myself.

Baby, Clio Amélie, and Clifford in a family photo outside
  • Binomial name: Kalanchoe blossfeldiana
  • Given names:
    Mature-ish lady: Clio Amélie
    Young buck: Clifford
    Baby: Baby
  • Native to: Madagascar
  • Given: May or June 2016; housewarming present. In the same pot as Virginia blue rabbit’s foot fern and dracaena marginata
  • Grown in: Canada
  • Repotting: used 1/2 [1/4 regular potting mix + a little cactus mix, 1/4 perlite, 1/2 coco coir] + 1/2 [cactus mix]
  • Soil:
    Clio Amélie, Clifford, Baby: moist, but just watered, so that’s OK
  • New growth:
    Clio Amélie: no new growth, but more leggy
    Clifford: has three full tiers of leaves; starting on a fourth (so tiny!); a little leggy
    Baby: no new growth, but more leggy
  • Signs of pests: none
  • Signs of care issues:
    Clio Amélie: some crispy tips on leaves (were there for some time; probably not indicative of current state)
    Clifford: happy in terracotta pot; needs more sun; moved to kitchen windowsill

Atmosphere

  • Light: bright, indirect; too much can scorch leaves; becomes leggy in low light
  • Humidity: dry air is fine
  • Temperature: 12 to 27 degrees C; avoid drafts

Water

  • Preference: water when dry; water more when flowering

Soil, fertilization, and pots

  • Soil type: 1/2 cactus mix and succulent mix with 1/2 premium potting soil; can mix in a little bit of compost; needs good drainage
  • Soil pH: acidic
  • Fertilization: top-dress with worm castings and compost in spring; apply balanced houseplant fertilizer in spring if needed
  • Repotting: not more than 2 inches wider than the root ball; clay pot

Lifestyle

  • Grow style: slow
  • Maturity: two to five years, 30 to 45 cm; can last up to seven years, but they may get leggy
  • Blooms: any time of year, but needs equal times light and complete darkness for six to eight weeks (they are photoperiodic). Flower colour: orange (as told to me by someone I gave a cutting to). Remove faded blooms and provide minimal watering after for a few weeks.
  • Common problems: aphids, mealybugs, powdery mildew if they are too wet
  • Propagation:
    Stem cuttings: 10 cm long, remove bottom leaves; let end dry for one week; plant in succulent and cactus mix; roots in 3 weeks. Can also develop roots in water.

Research sources: GardenBeastJoy Us GardenGrower Directthe spruce

Plants. Plants. Plants. Oh my god, plants.

In the modified words of Liam Kyla Sullivan:

Let’s get some plants.
Let’s get some plants.
Let’s get some plants.
Let’s get some plants.

Maybe I got too many? I mean, this whole weekend was all about

Plants.
Plants.
Plants.
Oh, my God, plants.

Like, I:

  • brought my humidifier to the dining room and set it up for the plants. And then my essential oil diffuser (sans oils).
  • checked root systems, removed crunchy leaves/rotting roots, and repotted soleirolia soleirolii, aloe vera, divided oxalis, pothos props, spider plant props, kalanchoe props, and string of dolphin props into terra cotta pots to improve evaporation rate of water
  • repotted calathea lancifolia and philodendron brasil into custom planter pots to fit inside wall-mounted cachepots
  • moved plants around to desired light/humidity areas
  • started eleven other plant-bio stories (since I was already researching ideal light, humidity, and soil conditions, I noted them down and filled out some other bio areas, including capturing photos for most plants)
  • went out to by glass covers for soleirolia soleirolii, salaginella, and calathea ornata (but calaethea ornata didn’t quite fit the container I bought it and might not really need it, so OK for now)
  • searched amazon to order: humidifier, humidistat, activated charcoal for eventual terrarium for salaginella, yellow sticky paper to trap infesting insects, 3-in-1 moisture/light/pH soil meter (surprise! Husband already had just the one I wanted! And he gave it to me.)
  • determined there are spider mites on my jade; treated it and the nearby-sitting string of turtles with a pray bottle of rosemary essential oil + water; moved them to isolation (they should have started in isolation; will know that for future purchases)
  • added cinnamon to wounds on leaves to promote healing (will it work? Recommended by a friend. Excited to see.)

Plants.
These plants rule.
These plants suck.
These plants rule.
These plants suck.

I love them. They are amazing. I hate them. My obsession is killing me. I have no thoughts, no life, except:

Plants.
Plants.
Plants.
Oh, my God, plants.
These plants rule.
Having few plants sucks.
Having not enough plants sucks.
Not buying even one plant that I want sucks!

I also researched more plants to buy. I didn’t… I only added to my online shopping cart in three local stores…

I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!
I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!
I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!
I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!

But… I might have too many plants. They’re all I could think about this weekend. But I’m also happy. So shut up!

Stupid boy.
Stupid boy.
Let’s get some plants.
Let’s party.

Husband is indulging me after years of denying me plants.
I am buying so many.

These plants are three hundred dollars.
These plants are three hundred dollars.
These plants are three hundred fucking dollars.
Let’s get ‘em!

I mean, aren’t they beautiful? I also watched several hours worth of YouTube videos about plants. And rare plants. And plant care. And plant trends.

Um…your room runs small. I don’t think your plants are gonna fit.
I mean, these plants are kinda big.

So I’ll just stick them on more walls! I can put them on the floor — just walk around them! More shelves! More hanging pots! More! More Moooaaaar!

Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, by the way betch,
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
plants
those plants are mine betch
betch
betch
gimme those fuckin’ plants betch
betch
betch
betch
betch