Very pleased to meet you, Vera

How rude of me, after knowing you for three or more years, so only say hello now.

New placement in bright sun on the kitchen windowsill
  • Binomial name: Aloe barbadensis
  • Given name: Vera
  • Native to: Africa, Arabian Peninsula, Madagascar
  • Given: 2017–2018, propagated by a friend
  • Grown in: Canada
  • Current pot: terracotta, 4 inch
  • New growth: they hadn’t grown much since I received them, they were kept in a low-light area, but there was a new pup.
  • Repotting: moved and divided them from a very small and shallow plastic pot into 4 inch plastic pots using cactus mix.
  • Signs of care issues: probably watered too early. Plastic pot is too large and holding too much moisture. Not enough light.
  • Soil: dry
  • New growth: none; no root development
  • Signs of care issues: one transparent, droopy leaf (underwatering)
  • Per Garden for Indoor, trying:
    Add rooting hormone to tips.
    They recommend placing 1/3 into potting mix, but I went to the base of leaves(added more cactus mix to pot for enough depth)
    Place into south-facing kitchen window.
    Keep it moist for 4 weeks.

Atmosphere

  • Light: bright (south-facing); if facing north, rotate regularly
  • Humidity: not important
  • Temperature: 13 to 27 degrees Celsius

Water

  • Preference: completely dry before more water, drench, then allow to drain.
  • Frequency: more water in hot weather. Might not need to water at all in winter if it’s in a cool spot.

Soil, fertilization, and pots

  • Soil type: cactus mix
  • Soil pH: 7.0 to 8.5
  • Fertilization: not necessary, but can fertilize once in spring with half-strength, phosphorus-heavy, liquid fertilizer
  • Repotting: terracotta pot with drainage holes. About as wide as it is deep or wider than it is taller; snug fit (one third larger than root system); plant becomes heavy, so want to avoid it tipping. Do not water after planting; wait a week. Place in bright indirect light until roots are established.

Lifestyle

  • Grow style: moderately fast in growing season
  • Maturity: 4 to 6 years, 45 cm, but can spread far
  • Neat stuff: they can sometimes flower indoors at maturity
  • Common problems:
    Overwatering (signs: black spots, mushy leaves)
    Underwatering (signs: wrinkly, droopy, transparent leaves)
    Root rot (signs: wrinkly, droopy, transparent leaves due; due to: overwatering; treatment: A. cut off dead and mushy roots, repot with fresh compost, go easy on watering; B. if all roots are affected, remove them all; cut off biggest leaves to reduce plant size, repot in fresh mix)
  • Propagation:
    Pups without roots: press soil into bottom of pot. Add rocks and wedge pups between rocks OR add pups and place rocks around them for support. Wait two weeks, then repot into deeper soil and add water.

Research sources: Gardening Know HowThe Old Farmer’s Almanacthe spruceGarden for IndoorOur House Plants

Plants. Plants. Plants. Oh my god, plants.

In the modified words of Liam Kyla Sullivan:

Let’s get some plants.
Let’s get some plants.
Let’s get some plants.
Let’s get some plants.

Maybe I got too many? I mean, this whole weekend was all about

Plants.
Plants.
Plants.
Oh, my God, plants.

Like, I:

  • brought my humidifier to the dining room and set it up for the plants. And then my essential oil diffuser (sans oils).
  • checked root systems, removed crunchy leaves/rotting roots, and repotted soleirolia soleirolii, aloe vera, divided oxalis, pothos props, spider plant props, kalanchoe props, and string of dolphin props into terra cotta pots to improve evaporation rate of water
  • repotted calathea lancifolia and philodendron brasil into custom planter pots to fit inside wall-mounted cachepots
  • moved plants around to desired light/humidity areas
  • started eleven other plant-bio stories (since I was already researching ideal light, humidity, and soil conditions, I noted them down and filled out some other bio areas, including capturing photos for most plants)
  • went out to by glass covers for soleirolia soleirolii, salaginella, and calathea ornata (but calaethea ornata didn’t quite fit the container I bought it and might not really need it, so OK for now)
  • searched amazon to order: humidifier, humidistat, activated charcoal for eventual terrarium for salaginella, yellow sticky paper to trap infesting insects, 3-in-1 moisture/light/pH soil meter (surprise! Husband already had just the one I wanted! And he gave it to me.)
  • determined there are spider mites on my jade; treated it and the nearby-sitting string of turtles with a pray bottle of rosemary essential oil + water; moved them to isolation (they should have started in isolation; will know that for future purchases)
  • added cinnamon to wounds on leaves to promote healing (will it work? Recommended by a friend. Excited to see.)

Plants.
These plants rule.
These plants suck.
These plants rule.
These plants suck.

I love them. They are amazing. I hate them. My obsession is killing me. I have no thoughts, no life, except:

Plants.
Plants.
Plants.
Oh, my God, plants.
These plants rule.
Having few plants sucks.
Having not enough plants sucks.
Not buying even one plant that I want sucks!

I also researched more plants to buy. I didn’t… I only added to my online shopping cart in three local stores…

I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!
I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!
I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!
I think you have too many plants.
Shut up!

But… I might have too many plants. They’re all I could think about this weekend. But I’m also happy. So shut up!

Stupid boy.
Stupid boy.
Let’s get some plants.
Let’s party.

Husband is indulging me after years of denying me plants.
I am buying so many.

These plants are three hundred dollars.
These plants are three hundred dollars.
These plants are three hundred fucking dollars.
Let’s get ‘em!

I mean, aren’t they beautiful? I also watched several hours worth of YouTube videos about plants. And rare plants. And plant care. And plant trends.

Um…your room runs small. I don’t think your plants are gonna fit.
I mean, these plants are kinda big.

So I’ll just stick them on more walls! I can put them on the floor — just walk around them! More shelves! More hanging pots! More! More Moooaaaar!

Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, by the way betch,
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU
plants
those plants are mine betch
betch
betch
gimme those fuckin’ plants betch
betch
betch
betch
betch